soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
