The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
