He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
