I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
