I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
