Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You ate ashes out of my bong
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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