Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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