SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
