I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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