don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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