I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize