why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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