dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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