i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
