ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
