i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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