Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
