UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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