And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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