so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
