you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
