If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
