she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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