The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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