I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
this will be a night to untag.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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