Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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