Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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