she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
