Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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