I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
