chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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