i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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