She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
