im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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