I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
