She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
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Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
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The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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