why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I love you.
Bad choice
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