I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
