Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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