guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
