I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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