I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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