maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
