i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
