When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
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one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
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The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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