i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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