I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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