i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
