I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
