Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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