I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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