how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
