Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
