so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
