yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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