I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
