so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
