How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
