i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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