so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
