i was born a porn star she said
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
