There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Send help, water and tortillas.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
